Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
