Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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