You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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