she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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