He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
