hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Randomize
