i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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