totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
