First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize
