I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
