Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
