Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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