I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
