How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
