I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize