At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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