i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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