Yo dont text me then not text me
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
