I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
