oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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