I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Quick, to the slutcave!
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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