I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize