the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
