I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
do herpes really smell.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
