people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
