I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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