She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
