I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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