Sacagawea was the original milf.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
