nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
