oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
