I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize