U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
My day in three words: secret purse cake
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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