She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I love you.
Bad choice
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
