I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
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