Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
My apartment stinks of burning failure
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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