That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
