How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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