who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
