I cockslap morals
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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