my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
