Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
