Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
