You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
