i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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