grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
