glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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