Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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