i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize