I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
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i cant cry in cvs. not again.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
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Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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