i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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