just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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