One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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