big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
