i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You're breaking my sexual little heart
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
