is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
