And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
