Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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