i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
