Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
