Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
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