Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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