Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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